Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
