I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
