So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
