i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
