i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
