i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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