dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
