Someone shit on the floor
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
