I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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