hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
