I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize