Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
