I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
