Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
false alarm. still invincible.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
