well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
