i think my mom watched the whole time
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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