Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
