Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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