Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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