Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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