the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
