I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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