OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
