Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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