We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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