I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
