brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
