Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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