I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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