can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
