I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
