i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We have so much sex to catch up on
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
