i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
