It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
