So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
