he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
