Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
