I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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