i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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