so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize