She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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