my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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