Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
