Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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