We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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