Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
