i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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