Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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