She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize