going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
