I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
These tits shall not be calmed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
