break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
