Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
