I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
