in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
