new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
