When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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