it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
