One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
