...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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