My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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