Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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