according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
