i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
