In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
