Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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