i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
