dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
